DECEMBER

The calendar.

Wow.

Can I just say…WOW.


It started off as a fun way to raise money for medical bills.  It turned into a community when the Lord would not relent that the devotions would go with the paintings.  It has been so fun and so encouraging to hear the different ways God has used this little 2023 calendar.


In January of this year, I knew I wanted to try to create another calendar for 2024.  So I started off strong with completing the January 2024 page a whole year in advance.  Then life happened and I didn’t get February done like I planned.  But for the next six months whenever I could steal little moments to paint I did so- sometimes with the calendar in mind and sometimes just for fun.  Then summer came and I hit a wall.  You might remember that July’s whale never got his devotional. 

So instead of Christmas in July, how about we have July in Christmas?


This has been the hardest post to write.  I have wrestled with what to say or not say.  My prayer is that it encourages you.  I beg you, ask the Spirit to show you truth and throw the rest of my words away.  Thank you so much for journeying with me this year as we walk through the scriptures of the 2023 calendar.  I hope you will join me again in 2024!
Merry Christmas!
Love,
Emily

It was June.  My heart was aching and I was tired.  I knew July’s devotion was coming, but I couldn’t bring myself to write anything.  It was all too personal and too painful.  I was overwhelmed and could barely bring myself to look at it, much less write about it.  “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you…” these words along with that little whale painting stung deep in some of the most wounded parts of my soul. In an effort to keep this post a reasonable length, I’m going to focus on the verse and save the whale story for another day :) 

*Trigger Warning: this post contains mild discussion and scripture around suicidal ideation*

Isaiah 43:1-3 says:


But now, this is what the Lord says—

    He who created you, Jacob,

    He who formed you, Israel:

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;

    I have summoned you by name; you are mine.


When you pass through the waters,

    I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers,

    they will not sweep over you.

When you walk through the fire,

    you will not be burned;

    the flames will not set you ablaze.


For I am the Lord your God,

    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;

I give Egypt for your ransom,

    Cush and Seba in your stead.


This is one of those Bible verses that looks nice on a painting or stitched into a pillow, but isn’t so nice when you are in the middle of a “through.”  I wonder if God has ever taken you “through.”  I wonder how this verse hit you this past summer.  I wonder how it hits you today.


With trials, there seem to be three possibilities for the child of God:

  1. You are delivered from them (God spares you from it)

  2. You are delivered to Him (He welcomes you home to heaven)

  3. You are delivered through them (God walks with you in every part of the hard)


I was at my breaking point last summer.  The journey “through” was too much for me. To say I was weary would be a gross understatement.  It was a heaviness like I had never known.  In all honesty I wanted (and still want) for God to deliver me from the trial or to Him in glory.  I wanted (and still want) to wake up and these trials that haunt me to be merely a bad dream.  Can’t you just have mercy and let me die, God?  


“There is a through…”  If I had a nickel for every time my counselor said that…


I could feel my heart growing cold.  I had quit believing there was a “through.”  Each time my counselor reminded me of God’s truth, it bounced off my heart and fell to the ground.  My heart and body were wounded, tired, and done.


In His great mercy, God showed me a passage from 1 Kings 19:1-8.


“But he himself [speaking of Elijah] went a day's journey into the wilderness and came and sat down under a broom tree. And he asked that he might die, saying, “It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life, for I am no better than my fathers.”


This is where I was last summer.  Unable to handle the “through.”  The journey “through” that I had started 8 years ago, was too much.  I couldn’t handle it anymore.  I wanted to be done. But scripture continues…


“And he lay down and slept under a broom tree. And behold, an angel touched him and said to him, “Arise and eat.”  And he looked, and behold, there was at his head a cake baked on hot stones and a jar of water. And he ate and drank and lay down again.”


God’s response to Elijah’s prayer shakes me to my core.  Elijah prayed for God to deliver him from his trial.  And instead God gives him a nap, food and water.  Then He lets Elijah lay down again.  The compassion of God shown here astounds me.


“And the angel of the Lord came again a second time and touched him and said, “Arise and eat, for the journey is too great for you.” And he arose and ate and drank,”


Notice what happens next:  The Lord knows it is too much for Elijah.  So what does He do?  He provides a second round of food and drink.  So Elijah rises to eat and drink a second time.


“and went in the strength of that food forty days and forty nights to Horeb, the mount of God.”


It was too much for Elijah and God knew it.  My own journey “through” is too much for me. But there is hope because God knows it's too much.  Perhaps you are on a journey “through” today.  God knows.  He sees you there.  Perhaps instead of a broom tree it’s a Christmas tree.  Take heart, He knows the pain on a broken sinful earth is too much for us. He doesn't abandon you there, weeping next to your tree.


The thing Elijah does that is so important is he calls out to God.  Sometimes calling out looks like literally calling out loud and other times it is whispering the name of Jesus under your breath. It's all in the heart posture. God can and does hear both. Calling out gives God opportunity to respond.  God will never violate you.  Instead, He stands at the door and knocks…


When you pass through the waters,

    I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers,

    they will not sweep over you.

When you walk through the fire,

    you will not be burned;

    the flames will not set you ablaze.


This is a hard scripture if you feel alone, feel like you’re drowning, or feel like you’ve been burned.  Those feelings are all real and valid.  I’ve carried each of them and I expect you have too.  YET, scripture speaks truth where our feelings cannot.  


You feel alone…He says “I will be with you.”

You feel like you’re drowning…He says “the [rivers] will not sweep over you.”

You feel like you’ve been burned…He says “you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.”


This past summer there were moments of crying out.  It was in those days that the Holy Spirit graciously began walking me through the story of Christ’s crucifixion.  He began revealing to me how deeply He understands the most intimate and private details of my “through.”   


“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.  We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.” -2 Corinthians 4:8-10


“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.  “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” - Isaiah 55:8-9


He knows how we are formed.  He remembers that we are dust. (Psalm 103:14)


He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief…Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows…(Isaiah 53:3-4)


If you are going “through” the waters or fires, may you be encouraged that Jesus Christ Himself knows how that feels.  He understands all the intimate and gory details.  He gets it.  He really gets it.


If you are going “through” the waters or fires, may you experience God’s tender loving compassion towards you the same way He expressed it towards Elijah.  


If you are going through the waters or fires and find yourself weeping this Christmas, may you experience Him weeping right there with you.  For when you weep, you never weep alone.  




Our verse for December says, “For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord.”  And to that we may all say “hallelujah!”  He was born a baby to go “through” life on earth and experience pain in human flesh.  He was tortured, killed, buried, and rose again.  He came that we may have life and have it abundantly (John 10:10).


Hallelujah




If you are struggling with suicidal ideation contact the Suicide Hotline at 988 or through their website.

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