April '25

For my precious friend, Lara.

Lara is one of those kinds of friends that is there for you no matter what.  She has found ways to include me in "life" since the TBI unlike anyone else.  We met almost 10 years ago after she moved to Huntsville and she came to my small group.  This past fall, she invited me to her small group and it is there that I've found community with a TBI.  She is one of the faithful few that goes out of her way to love on those who can be difficult to love (i.e. me with all the TBI stuff).  

Lara, you are a gift to me and so many others.  Thank you for allowing His light to shine through you day in and day out.  I love you lots and I'm so grateful you've shared the heart behind the hymn, Tis So Sweet.

When I couldn't go to church, she took me anyway. 

When I was upset and overwhelmed, she came and was there for me.

The following is written in entirety by my friend, Lara:

I recently picked up a paint by number kit. I wanted to try something new and work with my hands. It’s been a fun new hobby! I don’t have to think much - I just look for the numbers and fill them in.

Even though the concept is about as simple as it can get, the execution, at times, can still have me worrying. Oh drat, I messed up that spot. Have I missed any numbers? [Artist friend] would be so much better at this. Is this even going to look good when I’m finished?!

During one of these worrisome painting times, the Lord brought a thought to my mind. 

You’re too focused on the details. Look up. Zoom out.

It was true - I was focusing on getting the tiny details right, on coloring within the lines. And when that didn’t go as planned, I started believing that my failures, my poor brushstrokes, were going to ruin the whole painting. I needed to take a moment and be reminded that each brushstroke - regardless of quality - is necessary to get to the final masterpiece. 

And of course, this doesn’t just apply to art.

In my own life, I tend to get super focused on the small, day-to-day details - concerned that I’m not doing enough, or doing too much, or just generally messing things up. It’s true that daily life can be messy, complicated, and even painful. And when that’s the place I find myself, I don’t really want to “zoom out” and see the bigger picture. Instead, I want to micro-manage the problem; figure it out and make it go away. 

But for those of us who follow Jesus, we are asked to do something radical. Rather than tightening our grip on the problem, we are asked to trust.  

Trusting the Lord can be a simple concept to understand, and easy to believe in theory. It is entirely different to live out. Trust is often the exact opposite of my own natural inclination!

The great news is that Jesus doesn’t just ask us to trust Him blindly. He proves Himself as trustworthy over and over again. And He knows our hearts so well that He gave us specific teaching about worrying, aka not trusting (check out Matthew 6:25-34). All throughout Scripture, and through my own life, I can recall times where He has shown Himself to be faithful. And the simple act of remembering does help me to lean on Him more, especially during the hard times.

This month’s hymn has been a favorite of mine lately. Not because I always trust the Lord’s plan, but because it serves as another reminder to loosen my grip and get back to trusting Him.

‘Tis so sweet to trust In Jesus,

And to take Him at His Word;

Just to rest upon His promise,

And to know, “Thus says the Lord!”

Oh how sweet to trust in Jesus

Just to trust His cleansing blood;

And in simple faith to plunge me

 Beneath the healing, cleansing flood

I’m so glad I learned to trust Him

Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;

And I know that He is with me

Will be with me to the end

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!

How I’ve proved Him over and over

Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!

Oh for grace to trust Him more

The whole song is beautiful, but I’m especially thankful for the final line of the chorus, “Oh for grace to trust Him more”. Many times when I’m singing the chorus “Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him”, I’m simultaneously praying for it to be true in my life. Yes, I can count my blessings and be thankful for the Lord’s proven faithfulness, but there are still daily struggles, seasons of crisis, and unanswered prayers. 

I do believe there will always be righteous desires that will remain unmet on this side of heaven. God doesn’t promise to fix everything that’s wrong in our lives. In fact, He will often ask us to do hard things, to walk through difficult trials. 

But, in abundant love and grace, He gives us the sweet promise that He is near. He will never leave us or forsake us (Heb. 13:5; Deut. 31:6). He will “be with [us] to the end”. Even in the toughest circumstances, our loving God is present. We can rest in His promises. I want to experience the sweetness of truly trusting Him!  

Here’s the thing: I do occasionally “zoom out” now when working on my paint by number project. And while it does make the mistakes less noticeable, it’s still very clearly an unfinished work of art.

Isn’t that beautifully freeing? Until Jesus calls us home, we are unfinished masterpieces. He is using our imperfect brushstrokes to accomplish His good and perfect purposes across His creation. I pray that we can all learn to trust Him, and that we will have grace to trust Him more!

 

- Lara Clay